Sara K

I was born in the Catholic Church, received all of my sacraments, church every Sunday and attended a private Catholic school but never had a personal relationship with God. I always struggled with learning, school and paying attention and in high school changed to public school because I was hanging with a bad crowd and making bad choices.

At 15, I got into alcohol and drugs and that began a cycle of more bad decisions and filling the shame with more alcohol and so the cycle continues. I struggled with anxiety and depression and would self harm myself. After high school I became a very proud atheist and spent the next decade speaking out about God and trying to turn people away from him.

I started to get into the Occult and thought I could find my own healing and be my own God. I tried raki, seeing psychics, doing psychedelics, doing tarot cards, to try to heal the trauma I endured and I truly believed it was helping. Now I know that none of that was of God now, it was all demonic. Two years ago is when God entered my life again. I would watch Christian YouTubers and try to pick apart the hypocrisy and it would make me feel superior but as I would listen seeds started to be planted inside me. I knew deep down some of the things they would talk about was the truth. And it was hard to hear but I kept coming back for more even though I still didn’t accept Christ into my heart just yet.

One weekend two years ago after another weekend of drinking and making bad decisions, my mind was torturing me. I was in a hole of shame, self hatred, and depression. I screamed out to God and asked him to show himself to me if he was real. And that if he did I would accept him and live my life for him. It wasn’t immediately, but over a few months my mind started to change. I started to have discernment and I could see the things I once thought were okay were now unacceptable. I started to pray daily, and I confessed my sins to God and repented. On that day it was like a weight was lifted off my back that I have been carrying for a long time.

I started to attend Connection Church shortly after that and would find myself crying during every service because I could feel the Holy Spirit in there and I just couldn’t believe that I ever allowed the enemy to convince me that God wasn’t real. God is Real. He never gives up on us. He is so good.